Emotional Rollercoaster
It has been a few hard months for me these past few months. At the beginning of October, I went to a few Western football games and got asked out. I was so happy and content!
I love you, the words out of my mouth for that amount of time, it would just blurt out sometimes without recognition, but the words become dry and overused, making you not love me any longer, you say I am too attached, I don’t realized it, until it’s too late, please forgive me.
A month and a half later, he broke up with me. I was so upset and heart broken… I cried over it for a while…
The tears well-up and burst out without my body even trying, my eyes blurred, my voice cracked, words slurred, I don’t want you to leave me, I thought you loved me, please come back to me.
About two weeks ago, I asked him if we could start over with our friendship and yes.
The tears boil down, but at times they still well-up and burst out of nowhere, and create a pool of the salty and wet tears. I want you back with me by my side. It feels like the world is in order when you do. I don’t want to scare you off, I just want you again…Please forgive me and god forbid so-help-me if I ever do get too attached again.
It just doesn’t feel right, to which I can not compare, to any other time I’ve felt like this, but I am trying so hard to hold on to this, but lets face it, it won’t work, I still love you too much, and it breaks my heart whenever I see you, I cry tears of joy whenever you’ve talked to me, my heart pieces itself back together, these ancient days and this clock still moves strong, my emotions come in and out of my body at different times.
Hello new year, I know that I should move on, but one one part of me says yes and the other says no, I need to know if you still like me, like the way you used to, I know I should move on, but you said you would love me forever and ever, I am still trying to figure out that stupid puzzle, I dare you to tell me, I truly dare you to.
I need to decide which voice in my head I need to keep alive, I still chasing the good and bad memories I repeat each and every day.
I dare you to tell me to walk through fire, I dare you to look at the scars you left me with, the burns left on my face, my ash-stained face, paint me a canvas so I become what you could never be. There are thoughts in your head that can never be cleared from which they came from.
I want you with me, by my side at all times, never leave me again, for I will cry you an ocean if you do, don’t get discouraged, I am just telling you what my real feelings are, I want you, I need you, I gotta have here with me, because without you, we do nothing but mingle.
Posted: January 12th, 2011 under Uncategorized - No Comments.
It was a lot of fun! I had a great time but I unfortunately only found my friend, Stephanie came and hung out with me. We ate chili fries, chili cheese dogs, mini corn dogs, hot chocolate, and A LOT of other stuff! I was REALLY hungry. But I had a great time snowboarding, I fell down about fifteen million times. But I still had *A REALLY FUN TIME!*